I Tidied Up, but There’s Still No Joy
Marie Kondo promises joy through decluttering, but what if it only reminds you why you’re sad?
This week I wrote a new essay for Medium’s Human Parts. I am so excited to share it, but also kind of nervous. It’s personal — it’s about death, grief and depression and being hit in the face with all of those things while trying to create the perfect life via the KonMari method.
I know those aren’t fun topics for a sunny Friday afternoon, but I do hope you’ll read it.
The room was small, but its walls were covered, floor to ceiling, with plastic-coated wire shelves. And those shelves were packed with even more items to sort. My joy was in there, somewhere. It had to be. So, one day last September, I blasted Beyoncé and started to dig. Again. Because winners don’t quit on themselves.
What I started to uncover wasn’t just junk, it was evidence.
You know how scientists can estimate how long Earth has existed by studying the layers of sediment leading to its core? Turns out my depression has a geologic timescale, too. These bags — some filled with stuff I had deemed important enough to bring with me in the move, but many of them stuffed with items I had mindlessly accumulated since moving — were the fossils that remained after years of grief, stress, and sadness.
Two years, four deaths. I had buried myself in shiny plastic nonsense.
You can read the rest via my ~friend link here~, meaning you can read it even if you don’t subscribe to Medium.
More fun newsletter stuff is coming soon, too, including a new installment of Yay, You! this weekend. So subscribe if you haven’t already! Or don’t. Who cares. Life’s weird and you should do whatever you need to do to get through.